Isn’t she iconic?
I was 16 years old when I first saw her on my screen, I am now 23 and still to this day, I want to be Blair Waldorf. She is flawed, and obviously exaggerated as a character, she has many traits that we shall not adopt, but in all fairness, her drive, ambition, elegance, and iconic behaviours still to this day inspire me ( is that too cliche? am I too old for this?).
I remember being on the internet for hours looking for THE article that would teach me how to be Blair Waldorf, maybe not her exactly but to be like her, to be as fierce and as dedicated as her, as fashionable too hopefully. Although I traded my plaid skirts for trousers, I still wanted things similar to her: enter a distinguished university, get the best grade, find my way into the world to be powerful, be stylish on my own, be of good character and of good heart – hear here be gracious, have my own Chuck Bass (a healthier version of a Chuck – important clarification) and I wanted a life of both goal achievement and bliss, of family and love. I am not saying I am there yet, not quite enough macarons and luxury to attain it just yet, but I do feel like I channel my inner B quite well, and I have taken it upon myself to share my many years of Waldorf wisdom with you. (KNow that this article was first written in 2018, and has been updated meticulously ever since.)
Manners, Morals, Intelligence. We will work our way through each.
Morals of a Blair
There are a few things that you must always remember to channel your inner Blair Waldorf in a healthier way.
Social networking can help you make connections, find mentors, and discover new opportunities. By staying active in your social circles and attending social events, you can make yourself visible to key decision-makers and potential mentors. Similarly, you can make yourself known through blogging and open discussions in your field of work. Blair’s royal status runs from fashion queen to party crashing and everything in between. My own take on it is more, attend places, attend events, participate, and say yes, there is no shame in meeting new people and expanding your horizons (although, please, let’s not crash too many parties shall we?). Social networking via LinkedIn or Facebook is a significant aspect of Blair’s productivity, particularly through social events, and it can be yours too. Make your research be smart about the places you go. Gossip Girl fans have rarely seen Blair Waldorf applying for a job or an internship online. She uses her extensive connections to gain what she desires. Similarly, you may discover that many job openings are filled through networking rather than online applications. By making yourself known in your line of work, you may have access to opportunities that were previously inaccessible. Make your mark, and present yourself to the world.
Love wholeheartedly: and know where your loyalty lies. With yourself first, of course, but once you choose someone, knowing their heart and mind, know to fight for them. Be their biggest fan, their loudest cheerleader, their most passionate advocate, and their most ardent supporter. When investing your time and energy in someone, you have to be able to walk away and have your boundaries set righteously, but you have to be able to show empathy for those who are worthy. We all carry scars and hurts from the past that we may not understand in one another, and to show patience and mercy whilst making yourself clear about what you will accept and prohibit is well quite a challenge. Only experience will teach you this.
Purpose: Drive and purpose will bring you places you had not met yourself before. Have a vision, be inspired and remain inspiring, and act in ways that will not make you regret, act with grace, act with poise, act in kindness, and act aligned to your values and your ambitions. Stay focused, learn from your mistakes, and remain humble without downplaying your achievements, you can learn from “how to live a purposeful life”.
Be polite but discriminating: being a real life Blair Waldorf, but better and more modern, kinder too, means being discriminating in your manners and actions. It means treating everyone with respect, but holding back from offering that respect to every person or situation that crosses your path. It means being polite but not submissive, being open-minded but not naive, and being confident in who you are and what you stand for. It’s about knowing what you want, what’s appropriate to say, and what’s appropriate to do, and not wavering in those beliefs regardless of who you’re interacting with. If someone is treating you poorly, speak up and let them know they’ve crossed a line. If you’re not interested in pursuing a relationship, let your actions show it.
Intelligence à la Queen B
Use Time wisely: While she’s running her mother’s company, arguing with her best friend/antagonist Serena, and unravelling her tangled love life with Chuck Bass, Blair Waldorf never sits still. Despite her drama, Blair manages to land the best internship, maintain a 4.0 GPA for multiple seasons, and manage a multi-million dollar company. To be as effective as Blair, one must work smarter, not harder. To accomplish this, you must make your daily tasks simpler. Simplifying your day starts with breaking down your to-do list into smaller, manageable chunks. Once you have your list, think about how you can reduce the effort required to accomplish each task. What can you do to make sure that these tasks require less time, energy, or thought? Can you delegate these tasks to someone else? Can you schedule them for a time that is easiest for you? Thinking about how you can simplify your daily tasks will help you to save time, energy, and effort for the things that really matter.
Power: The rule of Blair is quite simple, ALWAYS get what you want, no matter what you have to do to get it. You might think that people with a lot of power get what they want because of their position. While this may be true sometimes, the people with the most power are always the ones who get what they want, no matter what their position. People with power don’t let their position stop them from getting what they want. Be honest with yourself, and always strive to be the best person that you can be. Always be willing to learn new things, and always keep an open mind. Stay healthy, keep your mind sharp, stay disciplined, and always keep your eye on the prize. You can’t let anything stand in your way. You have to be willing to go the extra mile to get what you want, no matter how difficult it might seem. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want, no matter how difficult it might seem. This brings us to the next point …
Strategize: Ah potentially my favourite point, although I am in no way a scheming queen like Blair Waldorf, I have learnt my first lesson of strategy from her and her Sun Zu abilities. You can strategise to make your way into business, meet the right people and overall get yourself into better places, here are a few takeaways: Be prepared for every encounter. Research in detail about the company, and the people you are going to meet, connect with a few people in advance and have a few talking points ready. Stay on top of your email. Stay on top of your email, respond to people as soon as possible, and be sure not to let any potential relationship go to waste. Stay active in your industry. Stay active in your industry, be it through conferences, networking events, or even online communities. Most importantly, know who you want to be and strategize like her.
Work Harder and Smarter + Book list: B is constantly achieving because she works smart and she works hard at many things, she is the one who made me realize that being smart and educated was really cool. At the age of 16, I decided I was indeed going to make my way to university, no matter what it took and I was going to be really successful, I started reading every biography and self-help book I could put my hands on, I affectionated particularly the followings when I started, my collection now has more than 300 books, some classics you will recognize, others new, start here and leave your favourites as of now in the comments, I am always looking for new suggestions:
- Audrey Hepburn
- Grace Kelly
- Michelle Obama
- Indra Nooyi
- Anything Robert Greene
- Napoleon Hill
- Dale Carnegie
- Marcus Aurelius
- Briana Weist
- Jacqueline Onassis
I have been at it for almost 8 years now, you can see how I have been my own Queen B here.
Quality over quantity: in everything! Clothes, handbags, friends, lovers, hobbies, books, you name it. But the. quality of what you consume and consumes you is crucial in the results you are getting from life. One of the biggest mistakes a woman can make is quantity over quality. You don’t have to buy a ton of cheap items that you’ll only wear once or twice before they’re stained or broken. You can buy high-quality items that last for years and are actually worth the money you spent on them. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on every item you buy, either. Instead, wait to buy until you find a great deal, use coupons, and shop sales. You can also shop second-hand for clothes and find online stores that offer discounted items. You can also invest in quality items for your home and life. For example, you can buy good-quality pots and pans that will last for many years. You can buy an electric kettle instead of a stove-top one, which is cheaper and easier to use. You can buy quality bedding and furniture items that will last much longer than inexpensive versions. You can spend more time doing what you love in order to meet like-minded people instead of going to typical places – like clubs – to meet others.
Class like Waldorf
Play the part: let’s be fair, there is nothing more mesmerizing about B than the way she composes herself, yes by her fashion sense but by her attitude, potentially is she slightly devious in her endeavours (slightly) but the vision of a Waldorf is close to perfection by the way she acts in public, her reputation and her image are utterly important. What is inside is what matters but how will you push it on the outside? How to be iconic is an art. But how to be classy and refined, it is a whole work of art. I can’t teach you all of the good ways to learn your manners, composure and refinement in one article, but here is what I can give you: books, inspiration, and direction.
When learning to be classier you have to keep in mind that sophistication is minimalistic, we are under the impression that to be a real-life Blair we need an extensive (and expansive) wardrobe and handbag collection, but quality over quantity will be a much better teacher to appreciation and mindfulness. Elegance is mindfulness, mindfulness of the body, of the heart, of the mindset, of the actions and reactions. The world watches, and although no one “cares”, the world is smitten by ladies knowing how to be classy in all settings. Whether travelling, at work, or spending time with your family and friends, being a lady isn’t a trait that can be turned on or off. It isn’t a switch, it’s a way of being, a way of life. It’s a choice. A conscious one at that.
Confidence will help you feel more comfortable in any situation. Confidence comes from within, so if you are not confident in your clothes, then it’s not the clothes that are the problem. Find something you love and find a way to make it your own. Blair has always been a fashion icon, and you don’t have to dress like her in order to be as successful as her. Wearing clothes she feels passionate about is her signature look. Wearing designer clothes isn’t required for an iconic look. Most of the time Iconic behaviours come from doing what works for you and what you love most, remember Audrey Hepburn and how she did the same thing, and Jacqueline Onassis did too. Icons are made for a reason, they are their own thing (in-depth article about how to be more iconic, here).
Colour: is a sign of vibrancy and confidence, and those are two things that make you sophisticated. Wearing neutrals may be appropriate for many occasions, but it doesn’t make you stand out. It doesn’t make you memorable. And it doesn’t make you a queen B. Being fashionable doesn’t mean you have to stick to neutrals; in fact, it doesn’t even mean you have to wear designer clothes. It means you have to be creative with what you have and make it work for your body and lifestyle. It means finding ways to incorporate colour into your wardrobe while maintaining your sense of professionalism. If you’re not used to wearing colour, relax. Start out small and incorporate a small amount of colour into your outfit. In fact, if you can’t decide what colour to wear, try wearing two colours at once. You can also make a bold colour choice by adding a piece of jewellery or bag that stands out. I personally only have one or two colour pops in my whole wardrobe, my complexion makes it easy for me to stick with very rich cold colours such as eggplant purple or really deep ultramarine blue. I really like sticking to classics personally I am very into refusal of colours (but maybe I am biased by my jet-black hair and translucent skin). You can keep yourself updated on my favourites for the sophisticated woman in this article.
It’s not really class: the secret does not reside in the class she exudes, her style indeed speaks for itself and her makeup is indeed delicate and refined, her attitude does reflect her social status but none of these express with exactitude the class she has because it goes beyond being classy, it has personality, it has a je-ne-sais-quoi … it has sophistication. It has a dismissive refusal of things that do not fit her aesthetic, lifestyle, goals, and best version of herself. be ready to walk away from anything that does not align, whether it is that gorgeous yet too eccentric Chanel bag or that one person who does not respect your boundaries. No is elegant. Being sophisticated doesn’t require a lot of time or money. In fact, being sophisticated is about making smart choices and knowing what works for you. It’s about having confidence in who you are and what you stand for as a person. It’s about being comfortable with who you are on the inside and letting that shine through your actions, words, and appearance.
Work like B
Blair Waldorf’s job ultimately is to manage her mother’s company and launch her very own collections, but before that she interns in a magazine and even before that she is extremely implicated at school and in her social agenda. There are a few things that you can yourself do in order to land a career like a Waldorf: Stay active and engaged in a field of study that interests you. Get involved with extracurricular activities and join clubs that interest you. Find a mentor who can help guide you in your career and life goals. Keep a detailed plan of your future goals and how you are going to achieve them. Communicate with your parents about your career goals and stay in constant communication with them.
Over the past few years, I have had my fair share of Blair Waldorf Inspired moments from buying my macarons at Laduree to going between New York, Vancouver, San Pedro and Quebec, to graduating from university with my dream degree, from only wearing silk pyjamas to always having a to-go-cup of tea in my hands (at the default of wearing a hand and the tea is my signature), having my signature scent, wearing a makeup that was both subtle but enhanced my features, to saying NO loud and clear to a lot of things, to reading a lot of books, to studying hard, to launching 2 businesses, to being a published writer, to finding my Chuck (fingers crossed here) there are a few places I always go back to for inspiration and I shall share with you :
- Instagram: Rosalind Weinberg, Lydia Millen, Victoria, Millie Mills, The Wizard Liz, Blessed Femme, Blair Waldorf fictional account is really cute
- Personalities: Emma Watson, Michelle Obama, Jackie Kennedy, Audrey Hepburn, Indra Nooyi, Anna Wintour, Amal Clooney, Malala Yousafzai, Princess Diana, Grace Kelly, Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Hillary Clinton, Diane Von Furstenberg, Kate Spade, Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Wangari Maathai, Maya Angelou, Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren, Coco Chanel, Marian Anderson, Lady Bird Johnson, The Roosevelts and so many more.
Little things to make you feel like a real like Blair Waldorf
I am all about the live life as you please, I think that investing in little things that give you a mindset of abundance is worth your while, because by being into this energy you create more of that spark into your life if you see where I am coming from. These are little things that are affordable enough for you to get all the luxury feels you deserve.
- The Chanel mirror to carry around and reapply your lipgloss.
- Two words: Satin sheets. It’s not the real deal of silk sheets, but amazon sells a great diversity of them and it will surely make you feel some sort of way.
- Elegant pyjamas, throw away the rest, (see the selection I made for you here)
- spend time on your grooming, it is worth it I promise, maybe get your nails done if you can but do everything you can on your own, from eyebrows, the facials, to mani pedi, everything can be done at home, although in my opinion, a splurge once in a while on self-care is absolutely worth it.
- Get a nice journal to write in.
- Wear a signature ring as a promise to yourself and a reminder of who you are.