Two months ago, I wrote an article on how to open one’s mind to the world surrounding him/her through an analogy with the musical comedy called Wicked. Today, I bring what I would call the second part of that ideology but through the eyes and notions surrounding the themes in Robert Louis Stevenson’s gothic novel The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
I hate hugs, clingy people, cheesy stuff, unnecessary fluff, balloons, birthdays, parties, social activities, romanticism, over the top me-myself-and I, but I also really love a good heartfelt hug, people who hung unto me because they need me as much as I need them, cheesy stuff and I mean get-a-room-kind-of-cheesy, unnecessary fluff, balloons, parties, social activities, romanticism. I stand corrected I do not appreciate over the top me-myself-and-I people… #sorrynotsorry
I rarely share my feelings and when I do, I really share. I am always talking about how I feel but never explaining how I feel. It is way too scary. There come moments when I question my sanity as in “ Am I blocking myself to the world or is the world blocking itself to me?” I never seize to comprehend the grandeur of the world surrounding me and yet each and every time that I open my eyes, a new wonder is right there in front of me for me to grasp and embrace. When I look at myself in the mirror, I am disgusted by moments, and other times, I love myself more than I should (and that is not true because you can never love yourself too much. If you don’t do it, who is going to do it for you?) I am terrified of the idea that I can be more than what I am and yet, I let myself go in any adventures that come my way.
Singleness is allowing this kind of reflection. I have no one but myself so I take time to think, to assess, to analyze, to become better, to be me. But let me tell you something, sometimes in seeking who we want to be, we lose ourselves without even knowing. The most frightening thing is not to be lost in the world but to be lost in yourself. Why? Because even if you feel like you do not know what is going on, your conscience knows you and tricks you. What I’m saying might sound dark, I admit, but some things need to come to the light in order to be resolved. Why am I sharing this?
Not so long ago, I read the story of The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde written by Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894). The man, whom I consider a genius, wrote a story about Dr Jekyll being conflicted with his evil side and his “normal” side. Jekyll creates a potion to dissociate himself from the bad in him. However, the more the story advances, the more the bad takes over up until Dr Jekyll no longer exists and the abomination that his Mr Hyde survives. Mr Hyde, Edward from his first name, is the bad intentions and demonic side of Dr Jekyll. The doctor believes that separating his corrupted side from himself will prevent him from being a bad person in a society that his religiously built on Biblical values and notions.
I started questioning the intentions of the human being. Most of us have the conscience of good and evil encrypted in our thoughts but do we actually know what it is or do we think we know what it is because we have a greater ruler called “Society” dictating over ourselves that this is good and this is bad? No offense to anyone but how can we perceive what is good and bad when the rulers of our countries are corrupted themselves? How can we outshine or break this stigma over our lives?
I will not lie to you. Every day, when I step outside of my house, I know that during the day I will be confronted by “what I want to do” and “what I should do”. These are two very distinct features that I believe we, as individuals, tend to mix. Sometimes, what we want to do is something we should not do, and sometimes what we should do, is something we do not want to do.
The reason I am pointing all those theories, ideologies and questions is because I believe that, after analysing and comprehending the environment in which I live in based on family, friends, activities, etc., many of us, myself included, fail to know ourselves. We want to know the world, we CLAIM that we know the world, that we know better but the world does not know us. Referring to Jekyll and Hyde’s story, I am not saying that being a mean person is in itself good – Hyde is the definition of evil itself – but I am also stating that when Jekyll decided to part from the thing that was the sole intention of his identity, he deliberately decided to not be himself to satisfy the principles of his society. What it signifies and points out is that Dr Jekyll was not happy with who he wanted to be because it did not “fit” within his community. What I am telling you is that you don’t have to “fit” in your community to be accepted. Those who stick out are usually those who go against the laws of things to achieve their goals, to become the better version they were called to be. In order to do that, they took time with themselves, thought about who they wanted to be, assessed their nature and accepted that despite what the world thought of them, they had the last word in dictating their value and worth.
In day-to-day life, I preach constantly that one cannot love the world if he is not able to love himself/herself. To love yourself, you have to say “Okay, who am I? Where do I go? Who do I want to be and WHY do I want to be this or represent that or advocate this?
That being said, who we want to be is mostly led by desires we have. Now LISTEN CAREFULLY, desires should not take full control of your ability to function in a society if it means that it will have a negative effect in and on your surrounding. It is okay to desire, to pursue to lust over some things that pushes you to greater good. For example, I desire to have more altruism (someone who is capable to forget themselves to help others in need) , to be open-minded even more to the world around me. Nevertheless, I cannot let my desire of being altruistic keep me from me forgetting myself. If I do, I am running towards my downfall, forgetting the sole purpose and foundation of my person. It is okay to have negative feelings and thoughts. We are all human beings, we all wanted at some point to push someone really hard for them to shut up. Some of us maybe did it to satisfy a need, but that is where it gets tricky. The more you satisfy your desire, the more you seek for more. If you do not know your limit, you add on to the madness and next thing you know, there is no point of no return. Desires work with the judgemental critic you put into the thought process. Again, if you do not do it for yourself, who will do it for you? How will you know what is right or wrong for you, for your peers, for your society? How will stand up for yourself and declare that you are who you are?
I understand that my arguments and thoughts are debatable. I understand that they raise a spark or a questioning. I understand that. I am not saying that being mean, in the case of Jekyll, is good, that he should have stayed mean. I am saying that he should have accepted and control the immediate emotions there was in him to be mean sometimes. And you should too.
Shame and guilt are emotions – negative for that matter – we feel when a desire is not met or something is altered. They hint us with their sense of that is wrong, what is good. They are to help but they should linger within yourself. If that is the case, question the nature of the feeling; what it does and WHY it does that.
As en ending note, let me tell you this. Embrace your personality, beliefs and ideologies in the environment that surrounds you. Let yourself make mistakes. Accept that you are not perfect, and you probably never will be, but do not let the notion of perfectness paralyze your being and turn you into the opposite of who you are. It is only normal for us to evolve, to readapt, to pursue, to comprehend, we were made like that and for that – I guess – and doing so, keep on loving one another like there is no tomorrow. Share kindness, give love and time to the ones who need it and open your eyes to the people surrounding you. They might be a key or THE key to what you are looking for, and imagine how lucky the world would be knowing that YOU accepted yourself and blossomed like a cherry blossom does .
Finally, munchkins, persevere, persevere and persevere. For those who are in school, do not give up, only a few weeks to go, those who are overwhelmed by work: you got this! I believe in you, and to everyone else, do not give up!!! Christmas is right around the corner.
Thank you for reading my article on B0LD and don’t forget to like and subscribe. Take time to go read the other articles as well and give them love and support
With all my love