Some people are simply charming, they, like magnets, attract people around them, like flies around light – instantly dazzled by simply the way they are glistening. Unfortunately enough for me, I am not one of these people, or should I say, I was not. I did not glide through a crowd and shine in a packed room.
Charm never was to impress a girl (although it helps) or make men heads turn when you walk by ( although it is a plus). Charm is the art of being lovely. Like a pastry, hard to resist. Being charming is the ability to be delightful company and to close a deal thought impossible. Being charming softens any heart and eases all minds into – almost – anything.
Some are simply born with it. If it is not your case, do not crumble in despair, you can always develop it – and although charm is an art and complex science, there are simple tricks you can use that will upgrade your charm game instantly. You can even start now. It is that easy.
With these 5 simple tricks, we are turning you into a true charmer of hearts.
say their name (and remember it)
When the person you are interacting with presents himself, repeat their name – well, it is very nice to meet you, Lily – and then when the discussion still flows or you get to see them again, repeat their name – I am really happy for you Lily -. Use it whenever you see the occasion, without making it weird or too intense obviously, but make sure you say it more than once.
First of all, it helps you actually remember their name by repeating. Second of all, using someone’s name establishes the first link to intimacy. It makes the other person feel special. It lets them know that you care.
Fun fact from Dale Carnegie’s book “How to win friends and influence people”: look at Theodor Roosevelt, who was a beloved American President, he remembered everyone’s name. From the gardener to the president of big companies, to him, you mattered. Any name harder to pronounce? He would learn how to pronounce it, and say it properly. A name is a gift to you, it defines you in a certain way, a name is your identity. Some even say he was elected because he knew the name of every person in the country.
Point being, learning names is the first step to being charming, pronounce names like a spell, rolling off your tongue like magic and see its effect on people. Thank me later.
touch them lightly
Do not make it awkward, but touch their arm or their shoulder when you get a chance. It establishes physical contact. Oprah does it all the time. Touch can transmit to the other person positive emotions such as love, gratitude or joy. To make a first good impression, touching is crucial, that’s why when people meet each other they shake hands because it establishes the first contact.
You want to make sure that you are engraved in their minds and be perceived as charming?
If you are a man, touch the shoulder or the upper area of the arm between the shoulder and the elbow, especially with women. By experience, this area tends to leave them more at ease than if you touch their back or between their wrists and elbows for example.
If you are a woman, you can go for the entire arm, the area between the wrist and the elbow shows a certain delicacy which you can use in your advantage, otherwise elbow to shoulder is always a good place to start.
listen more than you talk
Ask a lot of questions to keep a little mystery and listen actively to make anyone feel extra special. You’ll turn out to be the greatest conversationalist and the most caring person they have interacted with. Charm is a lot about how you make the other person feel when you are interacting with them, making them feel cared for and special is a great way to leave a positive impression, plus, it will make you feel good too. See how much you can learn from others just by listening to them a little more, you’ll be astonished.
present your left side slightly when interacting with someone else
This tip and the next one are highly psychological un subconscious, but they work – transforming you into a magician of charming gestures.
To explain the effect it has on someone when you present the left side of your face instead of simply facing them or presenting the right side is rather simple:
The left side of your brain is emotions.
The right side is analytic.
Therefore when presenting your right side to someone, it somehow sends a message of “ I am trying to make you understand something” or “ I am analyzing you”, whilst if you present your left side, it sends a message of open-mindedness and emotional connection.
smile with the eyes
Tyra Banks brought this concept to us a long time ago but somehow seems like it was forgotten.
Smiling with the eyes is an art because no matter how much you smile with your teeth if your eyes are not going along with it, it will seem insincere.
Not only can smiling with the eyes improve the overall look of your smile, but it will make anyone melt right on spot with the right tactic.
You can smile rather slightly but make your eyes smile along with it to complete the action and get its full effect.
You can even not smile at all and send “smile eyes” to the person you are interacting with.
To do it, keep your face relaxed, and think of smize, squint your eyes in the way they would when you regularly smile.
It may seem a little foolish, but you would be surprised at how it can project a positive impression before you even say anything.
Anyhow, if you want to learn from the expert herself, click here.
Tell us about your experience, did you charm the world’s heart with our tips? Do you have any other tip to share?
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For what it is worth,
I believe in you
xx your boldest friend