Hi and welcome,
As your boldest friend I must start by “yes, you read right”.
We are about to take the most elegant revenge of all times.
If you have been truly hurt and you are boiling to the point where working on yourself is almost an impossible task, then it is because you need revenge.
It would be nice to take it easy on them, but it would not be as much fun.
Here is a perfect guide on how to take perfect elegant revenge.
- Calm down.
You do not want to explode or be angry all the time, take the time to step into your power. All that built-up anger, sadness, all that upset, it needs to be understood. Somehow, one needs to understand that emotions can not be controlled, you can not suppress them, they need to be lived and felt, they demand it. But you can manage your emotions, understand them, find time to feel them so you govern them and not the opposite.
- Accept and assume the worst
That may seem like the worst possible advice in the world, but in order to have an act of a perfectly elegant revenge, you have to firstly, be prepared for any outcome so you are not caught short and secondly, to accept that this person/ situation hurt you the most so you can start to move on – cry about it, write about, talk about it, analyze it (without obsessing over it). Moreover, if you see the worst of it, you can see how much you are willing to forgive, how much you may have to take the blame for, what are the lessons you can learn out of it.
- Tune in that anger onto yourself
By that, understand direct your anger as motivation to be better. Be fiercer, stronger, wiser. To improve yourself the B0LD community asks of you that you find intrinsic motivation- meaning that the motivation to be a better you come from no one else than yourself.
The best way to do so comes with an example :
One day, a friend of the bold community stopped drinking ( congratulations, once again ) and he had very little patience ever since. He is a sales guy and every day would be a struggle because he would get angry rather easily. After reading 5 sentences to always be motivated, he felt inspired to go on his very own journey to find a way to tune in all this raw energy he had coming from anger into something productive. After a little bit of soul searching with him, we found a solution. A solution that was only a logical explanation of the way he was feeling. All he needed was a change in his mindset: he was not angry because he could not drink, he was angry because he wanted to close more deals, to have a brand new car, to get the life he wants. He had so much anger about something he would be better without, but he just could not let go because he was so focused on it.
The lesson to learn here is not to project your anger into the past but forward it in energy for the future. No matter what happened to you yesterday, the important is what you do of today and tomorrow. Focus on moving forward, anger is not the ideal fuel but you can use it to ride your car down the road for a while.
- Do things that make you happy.
Go out with friends. Take yourself out. Go for a walk. Read a good book. Anything that gives you that glow. Step into your individuality – it is your power. Get to know more of yourself without the toxicity of a situation. Find peace and comfort in things that allow you to be more of who you are. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and make yourself proud. That is how you fight back.
Revenge is never about the opponent, the work needs to be done on yourself. It is only by making yourself better that you get the best revenge. Do not hate. Do not fear. Do not leave a cloud in your sky. You are worth so much more than a petty behaviour.
If you want any more advice on a specific situation, join our new private group and get the opinions of elegant souls and go-getters.
I believe in you.
xx Your Boldest Friend