Seasons of Love and Life

#FridayWithSeb

Hiya munchkins.  Seb here,

I love LOVE. There, I said it 

Always have. I am a sucker for a good cheesy over the top rom-com; Ryan Gosling kind of movie-loving put in a mix of Noah Centineo, a slice of young Chad Michael Murray, a taste of Paul Rudd and it’s in the bag. 

But I hate Romance. Well, I don’t think I hate it. But I never knew how to deal with it, like, someone can compliment me, and I’ll blush for sure, but I’ll be fine, I will not over-analyze it. However, someone COMPLIMENTS me with a hidden intent in their message, I exit the convo as soon as it started. Nope. I hate to feel all mushy inside, YUUUK.. 

Yet, I also find comfort in knowing that you have that kind of love for someone else… 

I’ve always wanted it, still waiting for it – maybe I found it but I am  too freaking blind to see. Anyways, the point is I guess I LOVE LOVE. I love the idea of love. I love what it seems to be like to be so unconditionally and utterly in love. I love it. Very simply. 

 But love, as wonderful as it may be, Love, every 14th of February, is signified by that thing we call “VALENTINE’s DAY”. 

I HATE that holiday with all my SOUL. And no, I am not exaggerating. I hate it. It’s… I even hate it more than hypocrites… and knowing me, believe me, hypocrites are a HUGE NONO on my list. 

 I’ve been told before: “Oh Seb, when you’ll be with someone, you’ll love Valentine’s Day.” To which I reply: “No.”…. and a bunch of other things but they’re not exactly relevant to my article if you see what I mean. 

As I am looking back at the month of February and its aura of love whilst stepping onto March, I took the time to take an utter interest in what love meant to me. Not just for me but as a whole, its definition. I think and know that it differs for one another; and every one of us, we have a defined meaning of love; singular to our experiences, the way we live life and see it. Truth is, out of all the things I don’t know how to define, love is probably the hardest one to define – really on top of my list.

Now my retrospection starts here, I remember on January 29th, I was with B0LD’s team and we talked about what defined us and what made us who we are. As an individual, not only did I describe myself as “simply complicated” but I came to realise that there are some values, most of them, that are imprinted in me because of religion, precisely Christianity.

I am not a religious person AT ALL but I do entertain and have a relationship with the one I believe is the Creator of this Earth. In that story, that divine intelligence called God had a son who walked on Earth and called himself Yeshua (Jesus is his translated name). That man lived and walked on Earth and preached the Gospel of Love. He taught people how to be kind to your enemy, how to never hate but always love, how to give to the poor even if you, yourself, you are poor, how to humble yourself, how to not argue for nothing but be wise in situations of trouble, and I could go on. 

In 1 Corinthian 13, it states: “If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

I read these words and I am touched and confused. I mean simple words are not that hard to follow amirite? Yet, I am always concerned when I look at the world in which I, we live in. What is true Love? How can you define it? Quantify it? Represent it? Is there a way to shout or encrypt it into people’s mind so they understand the power that resides in love? 

Love is the only thing I know that does not have flaws and does not permit people to hate. When love is fully and completely part of you, it is hard to find hate, or to not see it whenever it shows up.

Truth is, I am the first one to push it away when it comes but I love to give it to people. I love to look at my neighbours, and here neighbour means anyone or everyone that is around me, and help and love them, whether I know them or not. It is not about showing off that I am capable of loving, it is about acknowledging that I am capable of loving. 

To back up what I am going to say, another verse confirms my saying. It says somewhere in that big whole book to “love your neighbour AS YOURSELF”. 

What does it mean? Because I seem to be preaching that over and over, on my social platforms, in everyday life, when I talk to people, I keep telling them: Love one another the same way you love yourself. But what does it mean to love yourself? How do you know that you love yourself? 

I remember the first time I fell in love with myself. It was July 9th, it was a Saturday night. Something had happened that day that changed my life forever and when I looked at myself in the mirror that same night, I gasped and I remember crying and telling myself out loud: “Oh My Gawsh, I am so beautiful.” Even saying that to myself surprised me because never had I taken the time to assert who I was as a person. From that moment, my life completely changed, not only spiritually speaking, but socially speaking.

I have always considered myself an introverted person with an extroverted side and it has helped me to engage with people in my community or in society in general. However, even though I kept telling myself that I loved them, I could not fully grasp the notion of it because I could not love myself. When I did learn how to appreciate who I was, the world changed. You see, when I step outside my house to go to school or work, I do not question anymore if I am okay with what I’m wearing if the people will appreciate me for what I look like. Now, when I step outside of my house, I am content because I woke up knowing who I am and what I look like and what I stand for and what I believe in. I am happy and feel blessed by the way I look and am. I am proud of who I am. And that, my self-acceptance, allows me to love people harder, stronger and bolder. I don’t care who you are, what your background is, your sexual orientation, if you’re short, tall, slim, overweight, if you’re a democrat or a republican, what your ethnicity is, Love is bigger than of all of this superficial. 

To make sure that you know how to love yourself, here are some starters that maybe will help you find love within yourself.

  1. When you wake up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say “I am beautiful, I am worthy and I am loved.”
  2. Instead of punishing yourself when you fail, uplift yourself because you tried something new. 
  3. When you go outside, use the muscles in your face and SMILE. To anyone and everyone.

In all and all, Love isn’t about choosing what you want to love. Love with a capital L is about the others, how you want to treat them right and give them a reason to be valued, how you want to edify them. It’s about loving the other the same way you would love yourself. Would you ever disrespect yourself? No? Then don’t disrespect the other. I am not saying to love everything people love, I mean, if you can, good. But Love is about accepting the differences and humbling yourself in front of the other. And if the other is not able to do the same for you, it’s okay. Don’t be mean, keep on loving. Be the bigger person and accept people with arms open, deliver instead of being delivered to, show how you love to everyone and anyone. I have always believed that Love is the strongest most amazing weapon there is on Earth so use it. Love unconditionally and boldly. 

As we enter the month of March, remember that as a new beginning awaits with the arrival of Spring, let your environment, your education, and your energy flourish through the seasons of Life. Do not close your eyes to opportunities that will allow you to grow and love and see the world with new eyes and remember to see Love as your ally, best friend, defender, justice leader and love partner. 

That was all for me dear Munchkins. Do not forget to subscribe to our Blog and like posts from the different writers. 

Be kind to one another and keep on loving no matter what. 

Sincerely and forever,

Seb.

Photo by Valeriia Miller

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