Loving the skin you are in


“I love you, but I love me more”

Samantha Jones

Dear universe,

thank you for everything in my life. Thank you for the family and the friends surrounding me. Thank you for the clothes, the food and the rooftop over my head at night. Most importantly thank you for me, for my body, my mind and my thoughts. 

Fortunately, over time, I finally understood that my body is my home, my mind is my refuge, my heart is my community.

“love the skin you’re in.”

When you start taking care of yourself, you start feeling better, you start looking better, and you start to attract better.(Idil Ahmed) It all starts with you. First, always remember that being normal is so boring like Marilyn Monroe said, and striving for perfection is unreachable and scary! Second, try to remind yourself that success is not built overnight. It’s when you get a little better than the day before, that things actually move forward. And, finally, depressions, anxiety, traumas, have no honest way to explain each other, because the only people who really know where it comes from and where it goes, are the ones who have gone through it. 

First things first, admit that you are unhappy, then admit why. Denial is usually a large part of the problem itself.  I have no doubt that breaking through self-deception can be very difficult but insanely helpful. Secondly, when you understand your needs, just let go over all the thoughts suffocating you while allowing yourself a moment to breathe in deeply and figure out the way you want to process everything. Then, as a final step, the healing will begin and the changes will appear. One of the greatest learning I made also is that your mental faculties are powerful. Once you fill it with positive thoughts, things around you will tend to change for the better.

A short story here:  my younger self was very anxious about her own appearance, capacities, intelligence, the kindness of her heart and her role in this word, in the society and the purpose of my life. 

To be honest my weight, my love handles, my skin, was never the real problem. My problem was that I didn’t accept myself as I was. It was much easier to hate my body and try to change it than to work on self-acceptance and learn to love myself the way I am – By the way, shout out to all who are working on their bodies because that challenge is hard and I am proud of you. However, sweethearts, please make sure you do it for the right reasons. You are, in my opinion, all beautiful the way nature made you. The right reason to work on your body must be out of self-love and self-love only. NO one else than yourself should be the reason why you are looking to better yourself. Do it for your present self because you owe it to yourself, do it for your future self and for the person you want to be because you deserve it. Selfcare comes in many so many forms such as :

sleep – food – sport – mani/pedi – fresh air – nap – reading –  listen to music – writing – painting – walking – running –  getting a haircut – going to a doctor – taking a bath – quiet time – facial – massage – therapy – asking for help – watching a movie – enjoying family time – etc.

Don’t believe everything you think. I know that feeling too. The feeling that your thoughts sink in an ocean in your head that is so deep and so dark that a thousand versions of you have already drowned in it. These versions, that are blindfolded and reflecting negatives ideas and thoughts of you, they all blend together so well. I know that! You can’t tell -right now- where the lines are or which truths inside your head are really  what you should focus on or not. Cry if needed, slow down if needed, sleep if needed, take a break or reevaluate if needed,  talk to someone if needed. But don’t ever give up on yourself.  Don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s absolutely normal to doubts and question everything. Sometimes you just need a break, in a beautiful place – alone- to figure everything out. 

You are strong and capable to face everything the stars put on your track. You’ll never see the results if you abandon halfway there. Keep going. Keep trying. Keep your head up. 

Don’t be afraid of the solitudes that come with raising yourself, your standards or when you decide to level your life up all around. The reward will be worth the inconvenience! Most importantly, you are the author of your life, if you don’t like it, write it differently or rewrite completely. 

Here are the five steps I follow every time I felt almost like giving up:

  1. Stop complaining and appreciate how lucky you are each day to be alive – No amount of attention will be enough unless you validate and love yourself.
  1. Embrace loneliness and reinvent yourself in the process. – Still working on this one though, I know it can be a bit tricky sometimes, but the point is to take a step back and rethink the whole set and go through the process of loneliness calmly until you find the light again.
  1. Say goodbye to people who don’t bring positive energy into your life –  Seek connection, not validation.
  1. Commit to the goals you set and never look back –  By recording your goals and dreams on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you always wanted to be.
  1. One thing at a time – Amazing things happens when you start to grow in one area of your life: other areas improve right along with it. Learn to focus on the most important thing to you so you are not overwhelmed. 

Your self-doubt does not define who you are or what you are capable of. Trust the magic of new beginnings, of your instincts and of your goals.  And if all you did today was to hold yourself together, that would be good. that would be enough. And I will be proud of you!

Here is what I wish for myself and all of you reading this:  Blossom into a badass person with more faith than fear (Unknown).

With all my love, B

Photo by Marta Dzedyshko

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