Hello & Welcome,
From a young age, I was raised in the idea that manners were simply kindnesses, people are often baffled by how strictly I approach it, but truly Manners simply show the greatness of character and the kindness of the heart. To treat everyone in the same manner – with respect, dignity and unconditional kindness – is an art that might have been lost by some yet improved by many.
At the end of the day, beauty and wealth can be fleeting, therefore your inner character is the only measure by which others will ultimately judge you as a person. Great character and good heart is shown on a daily basis as you walk through the world and take action, small to big gestures. Thus, your courtesies, the high esteem in which you hold both yourself and others, is the only currency in which you can let your good character shine through a busy schedule.
The first law to adhere to is to speak sincere words of praise and thoughtfulness that reflect your strong values. If you think something of someone and if you permit yourself to judge them, make sure it is a nice and optimistic perception. See the good in others and speak the nicest truths to them and others. Having a bad word about someone else only shows you have a bad mouth. Do not judge if you do not understand, and once you do understand, you will naturally gravitate towards compassion. Be considerate, everyone has a different path and a different past that built their character and beliefs and you, are not in a position to judge nor their actions or ways. The way you do things is not the only way to do them. Let kindness, mercy and truth be your only language.
Be meek, but not a doormat, stand up for your loved ones and what you care about, being kind and having manners was never meant to be a prison in which you let other people walk over you and what you care for. Some things are worth fighting for, but there are ways to fight within respectful boundaries and limits. It is all about self-control and keeping your head cool. Remain composed and calm, anger is of no use, it blocks rational thought and it will only have you feeling negative. Take time to breathe if needed, and if you feel like you are about to burst, just ask the person to explain their point to you in details if it is of an important matter, if it is futile, it is always okay to excuse yourself and leave. Remember:
- Understanding leads to compassion, understand before assuming.
- No reaction is a good reaction over futilities, don’t lose time and energy on things that could not matter in five minutes.
You may like this article on the art of fighting and arguments – graciously: Never start a fight, but know how to end one.
Call it as you may but the third law simply is to pursue a well-rounded education. Good manners come from an understanding of the world, of concepts and ideas that define societies and their times. The result of a studied life is rather large but quite simple, it will produce greater happiness, fulfilment, purpose and influence. It will help you remain humble and aware of the world you live in, it will teach critical thinking, and a thing or two about passion & how it moves the world around.
Be a conqueror, rise above difficulties and do not let anything stop you. Truly show your grace by being consistent in your character, by not playing victims, by choosing to be kind and gentle instead of forcing things along. Do not whine, nag, boast or criticise unnecessarily, focus on yourself and what you can do. People are often misled in the idea that gentleness can not rime with strong, but you can be gentle and full of strength, you can be kind and of good heart and be an influential leader, as a matter fact, you will be more respected and loved if you show your good colours. Legend says Roosevelt won the elections because of his ability to remember everyone’s name and treat everyone in the same manner.
Not everyone will like you nor should you expect so, but go about your business and stay in your lane, keep pursuing your higher goals and self. Other people’s opinion of you is not your responsibility, all you can do is act accordingly to your aspirations and values – your behaviour and actions will speak for themselves Know what you want and go get it, some will support you, others won’t, the important part is that you do not let their opinion of you change how you shine or dim your light.
The last law and the most important is to be aligned, be genuine when it comes to manners, to treat everyone, in the same manner, comes from within before being a habit. Practice your mind at being the very best of what and who you can be and you’ll see yourself flourish. Practice mindfulness and be present instead of being on automatic, you’ll see the whole world smiling back at you.
I believe in you,
xx Your Boldest Friend