How to build a safeplace

#MondayWithAimée

Lovely Monday morning, sweethearts!

My life has been a whirlwind recently. In short, in two weeks, I’ve moved out of my house, started my second year of university online, moved back in with 7 new people in my house, and adapted to living with five kids aged 9 to 2. I’m sure you’ve gone through moments like that in your life where everything changes in a short period of time. My whole routine and comfort zone changed and I was left without any of it. I spent two weeks at my best friend’s place, which was amazing, but it wasn’t my space. Tiptoeing around someone else’s home isn’t my thing, I like being in my environment. When I came back, I was still tip-toeing in my own house, because well, my house wasn’t my house like it used to be. I always knew I was someone in need of a routine, but I also need constancy. Doing things the same way is comforting to me. No, I am not a very adventurous person. Not only do I like my comfort but I also need it, otherwise I feel lost, easily overwhelmed and frustrated. As this is my new reality, I thought your reality might look similar as well. Maybe you started online school and things are different, or maybe you just need a good old back to school article to get you out of your funk. Here are a few tips and tricks and thoughts I had along my adaptation journey, hopefully, they will help you as well.

Create a space that is entirely yours.

If you need control over your environment as I do, create your own space, whether it’s your room or even just your desk that is yours and only yours. You decide what it looks like and who can come in it. It’s not selfish, it’s setting healthy boundaries for yourself and others to keep yourself and your relationships sane. It means that you have a place to retreat when things get overwhelming or when you need a time out, where the others know not to disturb you. Shape and fill this space however you want. Fill it with your favourite books, your favourite art pieces, your music, your tv shows, your favourite colours. Your environment influences your headspace, so make sure they are as peaceful and soothing as possible. For example, my room is a safe space. It is filled with my favourite colours, lots of books, art, plushies and lots of superhero-themed decoration, everything that makes me feel safe and happy. Your safe space is the extension of you, so make it as close to your personality and tastes as possible, where you can rest and destress. You need a space without external pressure.

Don’t tire yourself out.

Do not try to do too much at the same time. Take your time to do things properly and remember that you need time to adapt. Things will not change and adapt overnight, so don’t make rushed decisions because you are uncomfortable right now. You might be for a while, but it is temporary. Take slow but steady steps to adapt to your new reality.

Balance yourself.

That could be my advice for pretty much everything in life. Balance is key. Work and study but take time to wind down and relax. Get creative in your ways of relaxing if your old ways do not work anymore, or find pleasures in smaller activities.

Go back to your personal comforting classics.

I have shared with you many times already my favourites, but these might not create in you the same sense of comfort and safety that it creates in me. Whether it’s some type of art – music, movie, tv-show, or book – or a comforting reading chair or blanket, a type of tea or comfort food, rely on it on rougher days. It will give you a break from being uncomfortable and unsteady and you will deeply appreciate it. If you don’t know where to start, go back to things from your childhood. Usually, books, music or movies that you watched when you were young hold a dear place in your heart, maybe even without you noticing it. They shaped you unconsciously so they can also help you get through rough patches. It is very healthy and important to go back to your inner child. Let that child take the lead for a while, it will bring you comfort.

Create a new routine and don’t rush it.

Know that you will have to change. There are for sure things that won’t be like before, and you need to come to terms with that fact. Control what you can, but don’t try to hold onto everything, you will need to let go of some. Plan what you can plan, but make sure to leave room for changes and be flexible. Not everything will go according to plan and that is normal. If you like routine, find a few steps that you can do no matter what. Exercise in your room or go for a walk outside when you wake up, cook yourself a yummy simple breakfast, make yourself a tea before starting to work. Simple things that build stability are good to create a new safe space for yourself.

Remember, building a new stable, safe and comfortable space is healthy and it will help you get through changing times, no matter what they are. Whether you’re someone that thrives in change or if you’re more like me and need constancy, a safe space is always useful and it can be bigger or smaller, depending on who you are. I am still in the process of building a new space for myself and these few, simple tips are part of my longer and bigger journey, and I hope it helps you through yours as well. Remember, maybe this change will be beneficial for you in the long run, you just have to wait for it to come before your eyes.

Once again, take the time to read the other articles on the blog as we all work for the same goal, helping you live an elevated life. Make sure to follow our Facebook and Instagram page so you don’t miss out.

Soft blanket snuggles and apple pie kisses,

Aimée.

Photo by Jose Vega

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