Hiya my little munchkins. I hope you enjoyed the month of October in all its cosiness. I hope you had time to make awesome memories with your loved ones and that you had the chance to rejuvenate yourself and feel the air getting colder.
I had an article prepared for you, but as I was sitting in my room – a room that I recently reorganized and it feels good to step in it and feel at home – I was thinking that I did not want to go deep into my thoughts, that I did not want to talk about politics or how to behave, but I wanted to share something that made me happy. The month of November, often, gives us a sad mood. The days are shorter, the temperature colder, the days greyer and everything seems to slow down and die, that is, of course, before the holidays step in…
Thursday, November 5th, I woke up feeling like absolute doodoo from a severe headache. I had a choice to make. “Do I take time to heal my head and then do some homework or do I stay in bed longer?” I decided to stay in bed longer and I am glad I did so. You want to know why? I am a student and I do school at home, precisely an undergraduate student. I want to have my bachelor in English Literature. The only thing is that, since quarantine happened, the government thought it better to keep the students home – which is great if you want to flatten the curve – but not everyone is made to have school at home right? I am one of them. I have to get up and get ready and I love to know that there is a desk waiting for me, where I can sit, and pull out my pens and organize my workspace before the teacher starts giving his lecture. This is the reason why I love school. Unfortunately, for the last two semesters, I have been home, and it has not done any good for my mental health.
Being an introvert, I should not feel sad to not see people, I love being alone in my bubble, my energy constantly fueled because it is not drained by anyone else. Now, me being me, I need to be surrounded a bit by people because despite me being awkward around them, I love people, everyone anyone… Today was a “take care of yourself” kind of day and I enjoyed every bit of it. I woke up, made myself a mochaccino and ate Rice Krispies. Then I went to my room, opened Netflix and watched a Christmas movie. And yes, judge me all you want but I am part of the religion “Christmas starts on November 1st and ends late February…”. One would think that because I am a believer, or as I like to call myself “follower of Jesus” (I am starting to hate the term c h r i s t i a n), I would love Christmas because it is Jesus’ birthday… but no. That is not why I love Christmas.
I love Christmas because of the aura it gives and brings. I love watching movies because it makes my heart go to the point where I want to explode. Christmas to me is like scrolling on Instagram and looking at pictures of Sebastian Stan. Conclusion: Christmas is Sebastian Stan… – just kidding… Seriously though? The lights, the music, the candles, the baking, the food, family and friends, the laughter, the love stories… In some sort of way, it is… maybe a bit superficial, or it puts me in a state of make-believe, but it gives me so much joy and fuels me to do more… Whenever I watch a Christmas movie, I want to be productive, give money to the poor and needy, be a princess and find my king Richard or prince Edward, I want to go to New York and see the big Christmas tree at the Rockefeller center, or go skating, or rent a car, even though I cannot drive, and find a chalet and drink hot chocolate by the fireplace with my too handsome for everyone boyfriend.
I guess that Christmas to me is not just about giving… It also opens doors for me, it pushes me to believe that I can do everything, a bit like what my favourite verse says in the Bible: “I can do all things by him who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4:13).
I know, this is not Christmas time just yet. But I do not want to talk about Christmas, rather the feeling it gives me, and I want to know, what is the thing in life that gives you that sense of comfort no matter what you do? Every year, I know that for four months, I will be happy no matter what, blasting my holiday music, having my fairy lights open, wearing pyjamas more than often (not that I already do…) and watch the same movies over and over again. Every year, 5-year-old Seb gets excited to see the first snow, to see the house decorations. And it is all about the feeling.
I believe that we all need something to hold unto. Spirituality, love, people, we all need something to anchor us down, to make us believe there are higher possibilities for us out there. In the world we live in, nothing is safe and sure, but one thing is the person you are and the person you are meant to be. In order to become that person, you need to take care of yourself, explore likes and dislikes, make mistakes and more importantly be proud of where you are.
Today, November 13th, I did not do anything productive, knowing that I am in school and I need to have some work done. However, I am better, healthy, happier than what I was yesterday, all thanks to Christmas and its movies.
Find the thing that makes you disconnect from the rest of the world and makes you dream just for a day before you dive back into an everyday routine. Allow yourself to be a kid who thinks that the world is not so messed up and everyone is nice (wink, wink). Allow yourself, just once, to push work aside. And okay, some of you will say: “Seb? I have a family or Seb? This is way too important to have fun and d r e a m…” To that, I say: “Be you, in your own time, breathe in your own way, but do it. For the sake of your mental health and just for the sake of taking some pressure off, do it. Even if you take that time to scream of pain into a pillow because it helps you, go for it.”
Remember that life is too short. Remember that yes, each and every one of us is here to do something specific. You may not think it, but I believe it, for everyone. So, yes, work if that is what you are called to do, teach, sing, act, bake, play, be a housewife, be a doctor, be who you are supposed to be but never let that thing dictate who you are and force you to follow a path in which you are not happy. In all of that, breathe and remember that tomorrow is always a better day, and if ever you just do not feel like it, eat a spoonful of Nutella and go to bed…
Keep smiling, keep being brave during these times and always, always be kind to people around you.
With all my love,
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