How to let go of Yesterday

#ByBéka

You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s clutter – Louise Smith

Life isn’t easy! As the days, months and years go by, you may find that your purpose becomes more complicated and less clear. What am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to be? So many questions will fill your head every time you allow yourself to think about it. But the truth is: you may never find the right answer. And that’s okay! Those questions are enough for you to think and to introspect. And while you are making behaviour and daily routine changes as natural and effortless as possible, I suggest remembering that it is empowering to simply recognize that discomfort and restlessness that occurred in what used to be “your normal way to be” in your “new normal”. It is expected and absolutely typical to feel frightened by the idea of doing things differently and establishing new goals, habits, and thoughts. Teaching your brain and body to do so is a challenge in itself. Trading who you are for who you want to be is possible, and the actual goal, though I recommend you take it slowly and stay open to everything it will force you to face through.

Pay attention 

First of all, when the world feels as though it’s falling apart, pay attention. Pay attention to the people willing to give, not take. Listen to the ones offering others a safe place and shoulder to lean on. Pay attention to listen to understand instead of listening to answer. Look for the ones being selfless, when everyone is being selfish. There are the people you want to pay attention to, because they are the representation of hope in times of fear, of friendship in times of conflicts and love in times of war. Their actions and selflessness will change how you view others, it will speak loud and clear to you and to your choices of whom you choose to follow and gather around yourself in times of doubts and uncertainty. Just pay attention.

Accept the beautiful chaos

Somewhere along your path, you will struggle. It may be small, but it may also be devastating. No one can judge nor diminish the way you feel. Truth is, you are not alone in your struggles. You can be happy, successful, and thriving in all aspects of your life, but still struggle. Struggling is part of everyone’s life. Good news is, one day it will pass and it will just represent a moment in the past. Never forget the strength behind the struggle and as I like to think, the worst is never disappointing. Obviously, as I repeat constantly, life is not easy, human behaviour and relations are not a game nor a competition, your image and your values are unique and personal to yourself. Though the greatest thing you can do, the best gift you can offer yourself is time. Time is precious, it’s countable and it’s elapsing. It flows like wind. Use it carefully. Chaos is beautiful because it forces you to rethink strategies and to do things differently. Sometimes you’ll be led to better things, relations and habits, other times it will clean and declutter your environment, your bad habits and bad relations. I understand that things, when struggling, do look messy but let’s put it this way: they become beautiful chaos.

Be unapologetic

I am saying no… You shall all learn to say it too. Cause I used to say yes to every little thing, either to protect my peace or others’ feelings. Now I am choosing to put me first, my goals and my values. I put them at the top of my priorities, because I deserve to reach them, and so do you! Thus, you must start to trust yourself every day as you keep the promises you make to yourself. I also recommend that you no longer allow others to control your emotions and actions and you stay unapologetic about it. Because I hope you know that what you feel and deeply desire has nothing to do with anyone else. It’s only a matter that concerns you, your body and your soul. Be authentic and unapologetic about it.

Find your how and why

You have got to ask yourself what are you living and breathing for. Who you’re fighting for and what causes makes you pour your entire heart into it. And if none of those answers begins with you then you’re living your life wrong. You’re enjoying someone else’s story. Because frankly, you must write your own poetry, write it fearlessly and enjoy the process. It’s your life, we only have one shot at it, there is no such thing as a draft essay or a rehearsal practice. You must make it your daily job to make it count, to let every day be yours and own it fully. while sometimes struggles hit hard and might make you feel hopeless, even lost, it is never too late to try something new or create a new chapter in your messy, but beautiful life. There is always time to grow and to improve. There is always space for new habits and new goals. There is always a good reason to increase your focus, to find your reasons and to fight for the things that matter the most for you. 

Grow, nourish and love

Let’s be honest here, growth and empowerment don’t come knocking at your door. Empowerment comes when you have a voice when you do things for you and by yourself with all your strength and own capacities. Sometimes it comes within a voice inside you, or with a driven force from your own experiences and knowledge. Though it’s excessively important to nourish that voice and that force. Be mindful of your thoughts, actions, habits, and those that use your valuable time. Because they all become your story, your growing path, your experiences and your reality.  Everyone has the power of manifestation in their everyday life, they just need to be more mindful about it. Becoming the person you want to be and align it with the important values that define you will help with the simple act of being fully present, mindful and driven by a beautiful mindset. Thus, let go of things you can not control. avoid comparing yourself to others (mostly on social media). Keep your faith and love for others and for things larger than fears.  Do only what feels right and what is aligned with your goals and values. Speak kindly, think positively, eat healthy, sleep comfortably and please yourself before trying to please others. Stay away from toxic relationships or situations. Ignore any opinion that is not enhancing your life for the better way. 

True growth, especially self-development, will come when you stop waiting. It will happen when you take action and those small steps to pull yourself together. It will be hard and even sometimes painful, but you will soon realize how much it’s worth the fight and even the detour. As much easy and fun it is to think of someone as your hero, the true story is that you are your own hero and the avoidance of your struggles is not the best choice for the last scene, but actually the worst. True growth won’t be found in denial. It will be discovered by facing things fearlessly and unapologetically. And so, this current chapter in your life might be over or will be soon enough, but it doesn’t mean that it’s forgotten. I am sure you will and you all learn so much from your past experiences. The way you respond to similar experiences now, the strength you have gained and the hardship you previously went through becoming your best allies. Despite any circumstances, may this chapter be a victory for you! Choose what aligns best with who you are now and who you want to be rather than what looks convenient. It’s good to look at what the past taught you, but you shall only learn from it. You must actually be and stay in the present and only make the best out of it. You must look forward to all the future has yet to teach you. 

Here’s to new beginnings, cheers!

• with all my love, B