#yourboldestfriend
Hello & Welcome,
I’m very much all sugar and spice, everything nice, I am very proper, I never raise my voice, I dress in heels and I say please, thank you and bless you profusely, I am always kind and well-mannered. Even so behind my vanilla personality, my big doe eyes, my smile and my soft side, I hide a red hot chilli pepper mind – I cultivate strength, discipline and an implacable urgency to do things with consistency whilst having a positive impact where I can. I think carefully so I act precisely with purpose whilst making sure my values are aligned with every step I take. I aim for excellence, seek to extend my grace where I can, I undertake every action with love and kindness yet I work with impeccable determination and work ethic, I spare no effort when it comes to the vision I have of what can and should be done in order to be who I aspire to be. I venture to do more than yesterday, I strive for a most authentic perfection and I apply myself to it every day.
The method by which I obey is quite simple and maybe even easier to follow! It comes from the fact that perhaps I read too much and I mix one and the other as I hold in one hand Jane Austen and in the other Napoleon Hill, I’m a rather funny blend, between feminine and masculine energy, I balance each out to achieve more and yet to remain of my own sweet nature.
To me, perfection is found in the balance of things, it’s about alignment and harmony, to every yin its yang, to every weakness its strength. I find balance everywhere I possibly can, because when I look at the person I want to be, I am in my contrasts too.
The first place one needs to look for balance is absolutely crucial to every human being – it is to be found within feminine and masculine sides of our energy and personality, although it may seem rather sexist of thought, it most definitely is not as it has nothing to do with gender. It is about prosperity on purpose, some people may tend to be more on a side or another, which is perfectly fine because we are all different, but ultimately, the reaching of the balance within your strengths and weaknesses gives you most – Grand Mother always says I’m an iron fist in a velvet glove because I make out of the balance between the two my priority. Not everyone needs to be both masculine and feminine, certain people just are feminine or masculine in their energy and thought process, certain people are both, but the goal is to find harmony in what you are so you do not fall out of balance. When I looked at my own personality type, I know I make out of it my precedence to make out of my heart the most feminine side of me as well as my body language, but I also make out of my mind a very masculine trait in my approach to my thinking process and my taking action process. To identify which side you lean on, here are a few guidelines: Your feminine side is caring, generous, intuitive, creative, understanding, warm, receptive, gracious, nurturing and grateful, your masculine side is very strong, focused, goal-driven, assertive, protective and confident but it mustn’t overpower the softness you may have. When the feminine side becomes out of balance, we can become controlling, critical, over-demanding, people pleasers whilst when the masculine side is we can tend to become aggressive, selfish, unstable and unsupportive. You can be too still or too restless, it depends on which side is out of balance, however, there are so many tools you can use to balance one and the other, depending on your needs. Remember that wherever your focus goes, your energy flows.
To balance your feminine side, think of flow. Journal, meditate, take time for yourself, think creatively, take time to sort out your feelings, live them, feel them, think of giving, make something for someone else, something small but that will give you your power back, a random act of kindness, volunteering, you can also move with yoga or dance, put emphasis on feelings of love, abundance, and compassion, that’s where unity, cohesion, and a sense of belonging happens. if you have a bit of a masculine side to your feminine, try and make theses steps productive, set boundaries, you will then honour both whilst doing things that will help with your balance. You will see yourself going from isolation, worries, and problems to connection, confidence, and solutions. Trust the process. To balance your masculine side think of focus. Nurture your adventurous sense, give in to your curiosity and learn new things you have been craving, make a bucket list, lean into your strengths and don’t apologise for being a star, trust that because you are winning, it does not mean that others can’t win too. Delegate, try it, even when you know you could do a better job, delegate, let them grow too. Look at your expectations of others and yourself and try being gracious about it, be honest when communicating them. Let go of what you can not control, let others fail but guide them to success. As someone who struggles a lot with letting others do a job when I know they might not be able to do it perfectly, I use AERE – Appreciate, Encourage, Respect and Empower. This way, I honour both sides of me and I know I did what I could and yet I did not overstep.
If you are in this community and reading these texts you most probably have a profound disgust for average, a yet impeachable desire to strive for excellence because sitting in mediocrity is your personal very worst nightmare. You can’t accept less nor settle for anything you do not want, but you still want to remain gracious and grateful for what you do have, and I for one, respect that tremendously. At the risk of this being a slightly unpopular opinion, I do sincerely feel like people accept too much of what they do not want because we may sometime lack the courage to take responsibility and act on it. It is something I wish I could scream to the people closest to me, to the whole world actually, because nothing gets me quite as angry as people ignoring their potential because they let fear or laziness or lack control their habits, thoughts and actions. That is why one needs to strive for perfection, not a derivation of perfection that awfully blends and confuses itself into perfectionism because that is not the goal. We all have a definition of perfection of how the very best version of us exists and is driven to live – the truth is we strive for perfection to attain excellence, the excellence of being and of achieving, being more in the healthiest way, we perfect the balance so that we can be as powerful and peaceful as can be. The goal is to become extremely good at what you do and at who you are, to be your perfect self flippantly and airily because consistency becomes the habit of excellence.
It is about delivering an important quantity of quality results with an A + attitude, without ever sweating too much of the unimportant details, or sweating too much at all. Discipline is hard, but waves of rushes to achieve whatever it is you are trying too are harder, the goal is to spread it out evenly, therefore in the long run, you achieve and you become more without losing balance too importantly. It about sweating the details that make you extraordinary without missing out on the extraordinary details of life itself.
It’s good to recognize your potential, but the real game-changer is to act on it, but there are so many ways striving for perfection can be harmful to you, that is why you must find perfection in balance and nothing else, there is perfection in living a productive and high-achieving balanced lifestyle, you can make the most of your day by pouring pour focus into your physical, mental and emotional health, your education, your creativity, your work, your personal life and your purpose. To ensure that you honour all-important sides of yourself, try scheduling time for things that really do matter to you and fulfil you, you know that feeling like you had an amazing day? Because you did everything you wanted to do and you feel replenished? You can make a priority of your days to look like this. Do not give any importance to being busy but more to the outcome, you can do more by doing less, trust me. It is about finding your work style and making the most of it. A great book on the matter is The Circadian Code by Satchin Panda, when you learn your ideal patterns, you can act on them and optimise everything. Lead the way, start being a leader by example, sometimes the crowd is not right, and you have to trust that you are doing what is best for you, do not feel guilty about enjoying time spent on yourself and doing things that fulfil you. All you need, is a solid schedule and setting time to focus on yourself, stop wearing busy as a badge of honour, it is not. It is an illusion of achievement and you do not want the illusion, you want the result, so keep your eyes on the prize. Try also being open to trying new ways of doing things because you can always improve because even if you are following your own path, others have taken paths before you and they may have a lot to pass onto you, be open to listening to their options and see if they could work for you, sometimes it may click sometimes it may not, but you will learn so much in the process.
Your dreams will come true, keep trying, keep pushing, keep hustling, it may be hard sometimes, but it is all worth it in the end, I promise you. Keep your eyes on the prize, I believe in you. You’ve got this.
xx
Your boldest friend
