How to be more gracious – 5 lessons to learn

some people may find this is hard to believe, but, as someone who has lived through life head held high, I know for a fact that when you forgive, you heal, and when you let go, you grow. Being more gracious comes from within, how you carry yourself – grace resides in a heart, in a manner of being and thinking that belongs to those who give their life to its practice.

Forgiveness is the gift that keeps on giving, we forgive for others, for ourselves, for the sake of peace we open doors to better our hearts with kindness, I wish I had known earlier how to let go, to let growth and healing be the remedy to all of my sorrow. Let grace be at the core of all I am and do. Over the years of letting it take over, here are a few valuable lessons I have learnt along the way that will also help you to let graciousness be your guideline.

Grace is easy

It is not easy to attain or master, but being gracious is to flow in the world like a boat on a peaceful sea, to let problems roll on your back like water on a duck’s feathers. Grace is the syndrome of ease, it flows, it is effortless or seemingly so. Grace is the way you move into the world easily – physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually – it does not mean there are no hurdles in your way, but it means that whatever you face, you face it with a kind, compassionate and considerate spirit.

Grace comes from a place of care

It is about leaving everyone with a sense of self-worth and dignity. People only react to the depth they have discovered themselves, at the end of the day we are all a little broken, however, we are all loved too, either by a mother, a brother, a friend, or a lover, when looking into the eyes of another, you are looking into the eyes of someone who is loved and most likely someone who wants to belong – we are all just looking for our place in the world. Grace is the relief of the tension of uncaring behaviours, it is listening, and focusing on the other, so they know at that instant that they have your undivided attention and care, that they matter, and that you see in them the good first. You leave the rooms (and hearts) you walked in filled with light.

When it doubt, choose the other

this rule, more complex than the others, does not mean to never think of yourself, but if you are debating how to act in a given situation, just think of what is best to do for other parties, what is in it for them? What are they going through and how can you make it right? it is not your job to fix anyone or anything unless you are in wrongdoing, but if by an act you have an opportunity to make a situation easier, better or right, grace tells you to do so. It is not about suppressing your needs, self-respect or self-love, but more about choosing peace and softness over any other more negative emotion/ outcome/ reaction.

Where there is pain, there is opportunities

Humans have a natural tendency to avoid pain, you will not deliberately put your hand on a hot stove, nor will you stick your finger inside a bees nest, unfortunately, we often hold back similarly with people, because we all had a broken heart, or were left ashamed of certain things, or have cried hours because of unkind words. But you are stronger now, your emotional vulnerability does not mean you will not get hurt, it means you are willing to learn to grow through those pains, to learn to better yourself and the way you treat others too. Some emotions demand to be felt in order for you to become more. Being good to do good requires patience, compassion, and consideration – you can only ever get so gracious by yourself, adversity makes a person.

The world is your oyster

What you put in the world is what you receive, maybe not always in a perfect trajectory but the way you see the world, the eyes through which you see others and yourself, and what you pour into it, comes back. Acting upon the simple kindness of your heart because you believe in having a positive impact is the way you get it back the most often because by seeking kindness and goodness in others you are more likely to find some. The way you perceive the world will define the way you interact with others. See graciousness, seek it, pour it into the world, and see the world smile right back at you.

here is the one book that changed the game for me

For what it’s worth,

I see all the good in you.


Photo by Sunsetoned

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